I'm starting fresh. Done running and out of breath. These deep breaths of air hurts.. but my body craves it. Forward. Forward.Forward.
I can't believe it.
No cycle to break now. Just a beginning... of many beginnings between me and the Lord.. and all he's asking is for me to take his hand and lead me up that path. Alright... is it peaceful there Lord?
It's where he needs me to be.
[backspace] means to step back to move forward. I don't want to forget anything at all... but I thank you for safeguarding my heart. This time.. I'm running with it faster and harder than any other time. No opportunities for failure. Mmmm ... a new day. a new scene. a new history.
P.s.
I want this moment with you Lord just a little longer. because once I step out... I may hear the chip of my heart breaking into pieces.. and the sob start to rise. Strengthen me first.. so that I can move from that....and take one this new journey with you into many sincer truths and doubtless answers. many leaps of faith from me.. when you erase all doubt .. and give me sincer love Lord where there is no room for doubts and no room for any other but each other. I'll hold on to that hope and strive to keeep that faith alive.
Oh and another P.s.... use me at my new job. further my carreer. and give me patience.. the way I am about dating really conflicts with what everyone does there. ugh... dating a tech... really lord? I guess I'm back to advising people on love problems when you haven't even given me that. haha.... alright alright no complaints.. but I PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.... no more teasing.. and let me focus.
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means i have to move back so that i can move forward.
I'm ready for it now. Yes... its late and my mind is a bit hazy from sleep. lol...but I'm as sincere as I ever will be.. as ready as I ever will be.
I'm done with myself.
Refresh me Lord.
I know its coming for me... and you know what? I give up. Fine! I'm not arguing with you anymore.
I want to meet all my dreams and goals.. and expectations for you Lord. And, at the same time... go back to where I started. Focusing my all in what I have to do.. giving my all to whomever you give me...whenever that may be. I won't ask that you don't do it soon anymore because thats just me taking control again. But if you so happen to finally give away the key to my heart.... please make it plain to me so I can see. I'm mindsighted and not heartsighted.
You may say no to alot of things...Lord. But, you've said yes to many. You know what I want in a man.. and whats perfect for me in a man. So, mold him.. break him... bring him to me.. but in the mean time... I'd like a little help with what I'm working on at work. lol.

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ladies

Why settle?

You don't have to strive for perfection.  (It will never happen). But you can strive to be cherished and be loved unconditonally.

The Lord gives us that... but, when you do decide to be romantically involved, don't settle. Involve the father into it. You will discover a love beyond any this world can offer. Defeat is never the option.

A picture of what he will be to me:

He will not be my world.. but he will be my other half. He will never have to worry about my heart's ficklness. It will forever be his. He'll have the compliment of knowing he makes me weak in the knees and melt in his arms. He'll be the one to make me laugh even when I'm down. And, I'll be forever his number one fan. He will never have to worry about fading support from me. Falling out of love.. will never happen. And he never has to worry about me mesing everything up... we are in the lord's hands. Our part is to live in obedience.. and to truly love HIM above all.. to help us know what love is and project that same love to each other.

I pray that he becomes that man of God who can lead the household into the hands of the Lord. I dedicate my family to the Lord. His heart will be pure.. and will be in love with the lord above all things. I want him to value his family over his friends. I want a man who can speak his mind.. but considers his partners needs. I want a man of integrity. I want a man.. who knows how to calm me.. when my mind is turmoil.. and a man that's sensitive to me.

I need a patient man. I want him to work things out .. When we have fights, I don't want us to be prideful. I want a man who knows how to apologize.... I need a man who respects me.. just as I will be of him. I need a man who doesnt give up on me. I want a man who can continue to pull me to him. Who never lets me leave during a fight and never lets me forget he loves me...and never have any doubts of it. I don't need a man who's loved by all. I don't want to be treated like all of the other girls. I want to be cherished and set apart.. just as i'll set him apart.

But, I'm patient. Until then, I'll pray for his growth.. just as I'm sure he'll pray for mine.

 

P.s.

stepsie... be encouraged. Although you've loved and have had your heart broken.. the lord never forgets.

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[backspace] means i have to move back so that i can move forward. I'm ready for it now. Yes... its late and my mind is a bit hazy from sleep. lol...but I'm as sincere as I ever will be.. as ready as I ever will be. I'm done with myself. Refresh me Lord. I know its coming for me... and you know what? I give up. Fine! I'm not arguing with you anymore. I want to meet all my dreams and goals.. and expectations for you Lord. And, at the same time... go back to where I started. Focusing my all in what I have to do.. giving my all to whomever you give me...whenever that may be. I won't ask that you don't do it soon anymore because thats just me taking control again. But if you so happen to finally give away the key to my heart.... please make it plain to me so I can see. I'm mindsighted and not heartsighted. You may say no to alot of things...Lord. But, you've said yes to many. You know what I want in a man.. and whats perfect for me in a man. So, mold him.. break him... bring him to me.. but in the mean time... I'd like a little help with what I'm working on at work. lol.

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5:23 pm

commited... Committed. Start Date: 11/15/08 End Date 11/15/09 x Signed: Arianne

love

How easily we fool ourselves. People with their attachments and false love- a love that's built upon worldly principles and fleeting emotions. There's no substance. A void sincerity.

Words are lost upon a dwindling flame.. that can't live without the oxygen to feed it. Didn't they know? For the flame to continue to grow... it must have a substancial amount of food to eat.. and OXYGEN to keep it living. It' is God's word and the commitment you put into the relationship that feeds it.. but what keeps it alive is God. He is the oxygen that keeps both partners living.

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stranger

It's just so sad... when you find the person you felt you knew... doesn't know you at all. and words are lost. feelings lost...

strangers.

One day.. I'll have that man of integrity. and he won't be just another stranger. There will never be such a thing as falling OUT of love.